A Leap Of Faith...

"Finally appreciating the wonders of an iPhone: WhatsAPP & Skype in particular...thanks for reaching out Nanshu'...!"
These were my comments on a recent Facebook post, along with the additional comment,
"...it took a lot of courage & a leap of faith, but hope springs eternal..."

My last 'African Adventure' blog shared the sad news that my romance with Nancy had ended, but as some of you may be aware, this isn't necessarily the case after all.
How has this happened, you may well ask?
Well, as stated above, it took a lot of courage and a leap of faith on her part to reach out to me in the first place. A very close friend of mine who I've been looking out for in recent months, and offering my support to, shares an appropriate phrase with me regarding her own situation which concerns 'growing a set of balls'. I can now testify that Nancy has definitely grown a 'pair', and I will always admire her and respect her for that. She initially sent me a belated birthday wish, and things just escalated from there. With the introduction of modern technology finally into my life, communicating with her is proving so much more rewarding than previously, which certainly helps to give us a chance with conducting a long distance relationship. But we both know that there are problems which lie ahead...

Going back to my last blog, I always felt uncomfortable about not ending things 'face-to-face', as I like to think that I do possess a set of balls big enough and man enough to have done this. I also stated that I felt conflicted whilst acknowledging that as one door closes, maybe another door opens up. It's understandable to remain conflicted as there are so many mixed emotions and unanswered questions surrounding the future, and how we can make it work, as well as my existing life in the UK, both professionally and personally. There are always further complications to face, as my close friend will no doubt testify...but if it's meant to be, then it will work out. If not, then so be it, and at least we tried.

I just wanted to confirm to any doubters out there, that whilst feeling conflicted emotionally, I am still prepared to see where this relationship goes, despite the obvious obstacles which lie ahead.
I remain an optimist, whilst retaining a sense of realism, and I'll always wear my heart on my sleeve as a silly, old, hopeless romantic! Time will tell as it all plays out...we've just got to go with the flow and seize the day! Carpe Diem!

Finally, a big thanks to Nanshu' for breaking the silence; to Elona for always providing me her loving support; to Curph & Chappers for the beers and their advice; for Josie for putting a roof over my head...and to my similarly conflicted friend for all her laughter and tears!

Take care & stay safe.
Steve Muskett

The Sad Goodbye

As the sun sets on my recent romance with Nancy & on my 'African Adventure' in general, I just thought I'd sign off with one final blog giving some of the reasons why things came to an end...

"It's always a struggle to let somebody go,
 It's a natural desire to own your lover, I know
 And you can screw a man down until he takes to drinking
 He'll give you all of his money, but you still don't know what he's thinking..." 

'Fantastic Place ~ (Steve Hogarth/Marillion)

Over the past month doubts had started to creep in from both sides. Ultimately, trust issues then arose...and if you start to question trust, especially in a long distance relationship, then you have major problems. I must stress that neither one of us is to blame, nor are any third parties involved...it's just a stark realisation that our long-term future was riddled with unanswerable questions. Even an old, hopeless romantic like me could see that once the passion had aligned itself with the practical logistics of it all, then something had to give or change.

I started researching potential careers & opportunities for myself in Kenya, but what's an old fart like me gonna do for a living in the primitive culture that I will be inhabiting? There ain't no pension offices in Dunga, and I can't really see myself raising goats...can you? I would need substantial funds behind me, which just isn't possible, and even if I could find the money then I couldn't use this for commercial purposes in my own name; this would mean signing everything over to Nancy, and again if there are now trust issues then this obviously wouldn't make any sense. And for me to obtain a residency visa isn't a walk-in-the-park either!
So after considering all of the above, I made the tough decision with a very heavy heart to call quits on our relationship, before either one of us gets seriously hurt. Better for this to happen now than to stumble on looking through rose-tinted glasses imagining walking off into the sunset together hand in hand...life just doesn't work out that way, does it?

I do still feel conflicted to a certain extent over this due to the recent sacrifices that I've made. I gave up my lovely batchelor pad to move into a flat share, in order to start saving for our future. But I guess, things happen for a reason...I'm just not quite sure what it is yet!
Against some people's advice and maybe their better judgement, I have been sending Nancy regular money to pay for her rent & her daughter's after school tuition fees...but this has now stopped & all lines of communication have now been blocked. A final 'dear John' letter is in the post to her, explaining everything in more detail than I've disclosed here for obvious personal reasons, and I just hope that in time she can forgive me, although in essence I haven't actually done anything wrong.

So unfortunately that's the end of my adventure.
My exciting Christmas holiday plans in Kenya won't come to fruition after all, but as one door closes, maybe another door opens up...?


I'd just like to sign off by saying a very big thank you to all of the following wonderful people:

To Mini gg, Elona, and Trace...for their amazing unconditional love & friendship.
To Chappers...for getting the beers in & allowing me to bend his ear for a change!
To Georgia...for putting up sitting next to me & for being my 'Cookie' partner in crime!
And to Jane, Lyndsay & Michelle from work...for their kind words of comfort & ongoing support.

Much love & thanks to you all.

Stay safe & take care,
Steve xx

A Spiritual Journey To Find A Home...Epilogue & Postscript

I first starting writing blogs over three years ago with my series entitled, 'A Spiritual Journey To Find A Home'. Quite a few different series then came and went, culminating in this latest installment of 'An African Adventure..'
'ASJTFAH' ended with my final blog 'Enlightenment' which was written in March 2011 (please see link attached below), where I appeared to accept that my journey would be an ongoing experience.
 

http://aspiritualjourneytofindahome.blogspot.co.uk/2011/03/enlightenment.html

However, my latest 'African Adventure' series of blogs have brought my search for my spiritual home ever closer. In order to tie-up the original theme, I thought it would be a good idea to add two further 'chapters' to my original journey:
Epilogue (to 'A Spiritual Journey To Find A Home'), and...
Postscript To The Epilogue.

Basically, the epilogue briefly covers the three years between March 2011 and March 2014, and the postscript deals with my Kenyan trip in April 2014 and the beckoning future...

Please read on & enjoy...

Epilogue

"He's seen too much of life. and there's no going back...
 But there's a fighter in his heart and his body's tough
 The years have been unkind but kind enough..."

Since my final 'ASJTFAH' blog in March 2011, much time has passed, and many things have evolved. The stability that the IVA approval brought me, made it possible to start to plan ahead a little, as well as make some changes to my life.

But not everything was positive…

March 2011 was a tough month as a very close friend tragically informed me that she had developed terminal throat cancer, and subsequently broke off our friendship. She couldn’t bear to allow me to see her fading away, so rather reluctantly, I respected her wishes, and I later found out that had she gently passed away in the comfort of her family, to finally be at peace. I felt totally helpless so I decided to organise a charity event to raise funds and awareness, so in April 2012 myself and three colleagues from work embarked on walking the entire length of The South Downs Way in aid of Cancer Research UK, and we raised more than £3,500 – a feat of which I hope she would have been proud.

In August of that year I also achieved another significant milestone…I was finally able to move into my own apartment once again. I badly needed my own space after sharing homes with others since my flat in Cheltenham, which I vacated at the end of 2008, so finding an amazing batchelor pad in the quiet area of Summersdale, was just what the doctor ordered!

The other major development occurred in 2013, when my sustained performance on a big project at work brought me substantial rewards…and I made plans to go travelling once again, but this time my intended location was Kenya in East Africa! This was entirely due to a chance meeting on-line with the lovely Nancy Tubah…we started out as friends but our relationship quickly escalated into a full-blown romance, and all that was left was for one of us to make the move! Once the aforementioned rewards were confirmed, it was a case of booking my flight to Nairobi as I was once again in search of my spiritual home. At the time of writing this, it is March 2014 and I am eagerly awaiting my ‘African Adventure…’

Postscript to the Epilogue

 

It is now one month further on (April 2014) and I have just returned from an amazing trip to Kenya. Everything that I hoped for came true, and not only did I finally find my spiritual home, but I also found the true love of a special woman who I wish to spend the rest of my life with.

As I’ve stated previously, ‘home is where the heart is’, and I can honestly say that this is true. I feel so blessed that such a wonderful girl has entered my life, and this whole African adventure has completed my journey.

What needs to be decided now is how to proceed to make our lives complete, as we are currently living over 4,200 miles apart. I will definitely be returning this Christmas, and will remain in Dunga, alongside Lake Victoria with Nancy and her beautiful daughter Jojo to partake in the New Year celebrations too. Then I think 2015 will be taken up with planning for our permanent future together, as once March 2016 arrives, this signals the completion of my five year IVA commitments…and I will be debt free once again!

To enable me to make all of this possible, I have also given up my luxury batchelor pad in Summersdale, and I will be shortly moving back into the flat share I previously resided in with Josie & Glen. This small sacrifice is worth it, as it allows me the opportunity to save for our future, as well as giving me a better quality of life in the coming months (once I confirm the funds are in place to book my Christmas flight to Kenya!). Although I feel my journey has reached its end, I know that there is still much more to come…but at least I have the comforting thought of knowing where I truly belong, and I feel so happy to have finally found some peace within myself. This is all because of Nancy, so like I say…’home is truly where the heart is…’

Asante Nanshu’!

If anyone is interested, there is a pdf version of all of my 'Spiritual Journey' blogs edited into one defining document, including the epilogue & postcript which nicely concludes my story. Please contact me via the e-mail address below and I will gladly forward it on:

stevemuskett@yahoo.com 

Until next time (whenever that may be?), stay safe & take care.

Steve Muskett ~ April 2014

Five Fave's - A Photo Review

This blog is a slight departure from my usual postings, as this time it's a photo review of my five favourite photo's from my recent trip to Kenya.

There were many pictures taken, most of which have already been shared elsewhere, but I just wanted to highlight the following five photograph's, as they are all very personal to me with extra special significance...



1.

This was the first ever photo taken of Nancy & I together, so for this reason alone it will be always remain special to both of us. It was taken early in the morning by Nick, our taxi driver, in the apartment which we spent our first night together in Nairobi.


2.

This is a beautiful photo of Nancy's gorgeous daughter, Jojo.
I brought with me a gift for her, which included the 'Hello Kitty' T-shirt which Jojo is proudly wearing in this picture. She loved id so much and wore it for the next two days, even sleeping in it I do believe! She also took a shine to my sunglasses and to my flat cap...so much so in fact, that I actually left my cap for her to enjoy after I left!


3.

This spectacular sunset was taken at Hippopoint, where I spent a wonderful evening with Nancy and her friends. No further explanation is necessary...the photograph speaks for itself!


4.

Everywhere we went someone was strumming a guitar! Although Nancy doesn't actually play herself, this was a rare moment caught on film when she picked up an acoustic and started messing around wirh it. This was taken at Redgate, a beautiful place where we would relax and sometimes go swimming in the lake (Lake Victoria).


5.

This final photo is my personal favourite of Nancy & I together.
It is a 'selfie' taken by Nancy and finds us both naturally happy, and feeling so comfortable together.


Unless something dramatic occurs in the next few months, there won't be any further blogs until late summer...this is when I hope to book my next flight to Kenya, and when I'll start to build up my preparations for Christmas 2014 and New Year 2015, both of which I'll be spending with Nancy in Dunga!

So until next time, be safe & take care.

Steve Muskett

Nancy & Kenya: All That I Dreamt Of & Much, Much More...

Welcome to my first blog since returning from Kenya, where I'll attempt to recall some of my experiences and adventures whilst following my heart, as well as persuing all my hopes and dreams alongside the lovely Nancy.

I signed off my previous blog with the following quote...
 "I'll be back in the UK in a couple of weeks,
  With a pint on the table, and yarns by the yard,
  A story to tell, and a story to save..."
...and now I will try to tell you some of these stories!

The first and most important thing which most people want to know is just how it went when Nancy and I finally met after previously only conducting our relationship on the internet and phone. Well, it was an amazing, special and precious moment. After an eight hour flight to Nairobi, it then took me over an hour to get through customs and immigration, before I finally made it to 'Arrivals'...where I was confronted by a wall of people all awaiting their respective loved ones. After a brief scan along the line of people I couldn't see Nancy, but then suddenly I caught a glimpse of a beaming, beautiful smile, followed by a call of, "Hi hunny!". Nancy had spotted me! She ducked under the barrier and ran into my arms to greet me with a big, warm hug. We kissed and embraced, and it was just like we'd known each other forever. We were instantly comfortable together and then spent the next ten minutes laughing and repeating to each other that we couldn't believe that we were finally together...it was one of the best and happiest moments of my life!

After an overnight stay in a hotel near the airport in Nairobi (yes, we had a wonderful night...but gentlemen don't kiss-and-tell!), we travelled across the city to the central bus station amongst chaotic and jammed traffic, where we took the seven hour ride to Nancy's hometown of Kisumu. A brief taxi trip to the nearby village of Dunga followed, (where I'd be staying for the duration of my visit), and I then briefly had a whistle-stop tour of her family and the surrounding neighbourhood.
We spent the next three days and nights based at a guest house ('Joy's Place'), and our first night there was very interesting to say the least! Lying in bed after a romantic evening, a lightening and thunderstorm broke out overhead, which added to the atmosphere, when suddenly the romance was shattered...the torrential downpouring of rain was coming inside and flooding the bed! But we still enjoyed plenty of fun beneath the mosquito net!

Talking of mosquitos...despite pleny of preventive measures, no amount of repellent spray, nets over the bed, and covering up naked flesh was gonna deter the pesky buggers...I've been bitten from head-to toe, but hey...that's the price you pay for holidaying in Africa by Lake Victoria, and by the equator. And talking of Lake Victoria...we really enjoyed swimming in the warm fresh water, both by Redgate and by Hill Camp.
In fact the majority of my time spent with Nancy was taken up either relaxing by the water, or drinking Tusker beer whilst overlooking the lake.
Other past-times including eating hand-cut chips, smokies (sausages), sipping vodka with the boys, smoking the occassional local tobacco (or similar), chillin' behind Nancy's parents business whilst performing push-ups (don't ask!), and riding helmetless on the back of a motorbike (as all the locals do to get around). One such trip involved trying to get home on the back of a motorbike in the middle of lightening and with a thunderstorm raging all around, before getting absolutely soaked!

So, all things considered I enjoyed a wonderful time. Certain specifics obviously will stay between Nancy and myself, as like I said previously...gentlemen don't kiss-and-tell. But the whole ambience, rhythmn and culture was an absolute pleasure to experience. Nancy really looked after me, and I felt very loved, honoured and humbled to be with her.
Many people expressed their concerns for my safety prior to my trip, but I must say that all the locals in Dunga made me feel so welcome, and treated me superbly. There was a certain fascination with the 'white man' in the village, as well as a love for my shoes and my cap, and I can confirm one thing...I am definitely returning to Kenya!

My intention is to spend Christmas and New Year with Nancy, her lovely daughter Jojo (pictured with us both) and the rest of her family and friends, as we continue to enjoy our special long-distance relationship.

Until next time, may I wish you all a fantastic Easter weekend...and Nanshu', please know that I wish I could be joining you all at Hippopoint and Hill Camp...Have a fun weekend baby girl.

Steve Muskett